I have been with my husband Wayne for ten years now and for the past three years we’ve both worked from home. In that sense, lockdown hasn’t been that different for us.
I’m sure without our individual healing journeys the intensity of being together day-to-day would have been overwhelming. Of course, sometimes we need our own space, that’s normal. But we have always prioritised our individual growth, so we can thrive both in partnership and independently.
Being seen for who we are is fundamental for us both.
I grew up not being seen. In my family there was a huge amount of expectation to do and be what those around me wanted. When I didn’t live up to the roles I’d been prescribed, I was met with withdrawal, control and separation.
I complied because I was in a constant state of high anxiety, yet even as a child I could see that this behaviour was manipulative and unhealthy. It was narcissistic.
As empathetic and...
I’m currently in Mexico with my husband Wayne. We are lucky enough to be able to travel with our work, which means I can do two of the things I love most in the world- exploring new cultures and trying new foods.
We’re in a beachside restaurant eating nachos and quesadillas by the handfuls - full stomachs and happy hearts. Enjoying the balance of guacamole and salsa, the soft music, the warm air.
Nineteen year old me wouldn’t let herself order this. It would have induced an overwhelm of anxiety in her. There are too many calories. I have to exercise right now. Perhaps I can pretend not to eat it. Or throw it up later tonight.
One of the biggest areas of challenge for women in the West is body image; we all know the social pressure to look a certain way, to buy a certain beauty product that keeps us looking younger, thinner etc.
But my relationship with food went far beyond that.
I was stuck in a pattern of addiction caused by abuse in my early life. As children we...
Boundaries are an invisible line that protects us, especially when we feel that push-pull to say ‘no’. When the word ‘boundaries’ comes to mind, most of us envision physical or emotional protective barriers. But our psyche and spirit are so closely entwined that if we do not protect our energetic field, we are at risk of living a life of thoughts, feelings, emotions and belief systems that are not our own. Poor boundaries can negatively impact all areas of our lives and in difficult times where empaths are especially vulnerable to the energies of others, it’s important to take the time to recognize and exert what we really want out of life. In short, There is nothing more important for the maintenance or preservation of our mind, body and soul.
WHERE DO WE LEARN TO NEGLECT OUR BOUNDARIES?
Before birth, we share both a body and energy field with our mother. But around 18 months to two years, we start the development of our own unique entities. But as...
The key to protecting your energy is establishing clear physical, emotional, energetic and financial boundaries. Without them, our needs, wants and desires are often neglected, leaving us feeling drained, empty and exhausted. We are surrounded by negativity and stress at every turn. These factors can hold a heavy burden over us - leaving us feeling insecure in unhealthy relationships where we are often taken advantage of. This is especially true for the highly-sensitive person who can benefit from a shield to protect them. Let’s dive deeper into why boundaries are so important - and how we can start setting them.
THE INS + OUTS OF BOUNDARIES
When the word ‘boundaries’ comes to mind, the first thing we consider are two parties who have their own unique desires, wants and needs. But the truth is, boundaries are an invisible line that protects us from others, especially when we feel that push-pull to say ‘NO!’ When we set aside our boundaries, low...
Navigating the waters of relationships is challenging, even for those "picture perfect" couples that never seem to fight. But things are not often what they appear at face value, especially in toxic relationships where we find ourselves questioning what’s real.
If a lack of empathy, need for excessive attention and a sense of entitlement sound like a ‘normal part’ of your relationships, you could be dating a narcissist. And in these extraordinary times where we are spending more hours in the home, the daily effects of abuse can impact every area of our lives. I’ve created this blog to recognize the signs of abusive partnerships and pave a path to wholeness through healing.
There are two critical elements in the cycle of narcissistic abuse that prey on our weaknesses, sustaining us in a manipulative pattern that keeps us under their spell. The first is the...
The inner-child is an aspect of yourself that is a conscious part that lives within your subconscious mind. It is the child that you once were. It is a live energetic and emotional aspect of you. This aspect is often stuck emotionally at a different age than your adult self and it often lacks the coping skills and the emotional abilities that your adult self-has developed. It is a little being in its own right with its own wants, needs, and desires.
Many of us have unconsciously disconnected from our inner-child because we have experienced overwhelming pain in our early years. This could be pain from experiencing neglect, abuse, violence, growing up with a parent or a family member who had an illness, poverty or not being listened to and cared for in the way that we needed. This disconnection is nature’s way of trying to protect us from the overwhelming feelings that we once felt. This allows us to go on with everyday life with more ease.
As an adult, you may have forgotten...