I have been with my husband Wayne for ten years now and for the past three years we’ve both worked from home. In that sense, lockdown hasn’t been that different for us.
I’m sure without our individual healing journeys the intensity of being together day-to-day would have been overwhelming. Of course, sometimes we need our own space, that’s normal. But we have always prioritised our individual growth, so we can thrive both in partnership and independently.
Being seen for who we are is fundamental for us both.
I grew up not being seen. In my family there was a huge amount of expectation to do and be what those around me wanted. When I didn’t live up to the roles I’d been prescribed, I was met with withdrawal, control and separation.
I complied because I was in a constant state of high anxiety, yet even as a child I could see that this behaviour was manipulative and unhealthy. It was narcissistic.
As empathetic and...
I’m currently in Mexico with my husband Wayne. We are lucky enough to be able to travel with our work, which means I can do two of the things I love most in the world- exploring new cultures and trying new foods.
We’re in a beachside restaurant eating nachos and quesadillas by the handfuls - full stomachs and happy hearts. Enjoying the balance of guacamole and salsa, the soft music, the warm air.
Nineteen year old me wouldn’t let herself order this. It would have induced an overwhelm of anxiety in her. There are too many calories. I have to exercise right now. Perhaps I can pretend not to eat it. Or throw it up later tonight.
One of the biggest areas of challenge for women in the West is body image; we all know the social pressure to look a certain way, to buy a certain beauty product that keeps us looking younger, thinner etc.
But my relationship with food went far beyond that.
I was stuck in a pattern of addiction caused by abuse in my early life. As children we...
Navigating the waters of relationships is challenging, even for those "picture perfect" couples that never seem to fight. But things are not often what they appear at face value, especially in toxic relationships where we find ourselves questioning what’s real.
If a lack of empathy, need for excessive attention and a sense of entitlement sound like a ‘normal part’ of your relationships, you could be dating a narcissist. And in these extraordinary times where we are spending more hours in the home, the daily effects of abuse can impact every area of our lives. I’ve created this blog to recognize the signs of abusive partnerships and pave a path to wholeness through healing.
There are two critical elements in the cycle of narcissistic abuse that prey on our weaknesses, sustaining us in a manipulative pattern that keeps us under their spell. The first is the...