I love watching transformations take place amongst my clients. I love watching individuals who have carried years of trauma and emotional challenge transcend after a session or two together, as their beliefs and behaviours change once and for all. A while back, I worked with a client who had unhealthy ties with his mother. He longed for a romantic relationship, and to travel and explore the world, but his mother wanted him to stay around and be close to her.
In my client’s family system, there were ongoing conflicts between his parents. His father couldn’t provide emotional support for his mother, so my client had stepped into his father’s shoes, becoming his mother’s first port of emotional contact. My client formed beliefs such as, ‘My mother will leave if I don’t take care of her,’ and he saw her as a victim. When he tried to have his own relationship and create his own finances she made him feel guilty. He couldn’t be...
I've been working as a healer for over twelve years now, supporting thousands of clients across the globe. Clients from different countries, cultures and religions. Clients who approach me with a variety of traumas, addictions, patterns, beliefs, blocks, limits and challenges.
All of these clients are unique. They all have their own stories and histories, their own family upbringings and their own individual way of expression. They are all incredible and I feel very honoured to support them. But imagine if I felt all their feelings, thoughts and took on every challenge of every single individual. Imagine if I didn’t know how to separate myself from them. If I didn’t know how to say yes or no, or how to switch off when work finished, and I was eating dinner with my partner or taking time out for myself. It would be utter chaos, for everyone involved. It took me years before I realized that putting an end to that chaos meant implementing healthy energetic boundaries. ...
I have been with my husband Wayne for ten years now and for the past three years we’ve both worked from home. In that sense, lockdown hasn’t been that different for us.
I’m sure without our individual healing journeys the intensity of being together day-to-day would have been overwhelming. Of course, sometimes we need our own space, that’s normal. But we have always prioritised our individual growth, so we can thrive both in partnership and independently.
Being seen for who we are is fundamental for us both.
I grew up not being seen. In my family there was a huge amount of expectation to do and be what those around me wanted. When I didn’t live up to the roles I’d been prescribed, I was met with withdrawal, control and separation.
I complied because I was in a constant state of high anxiety, yet even as a child I could see that this behaviour was manipulative and unhealthy. It was narcissistic.
As empathetic and...