Changing Collapsed Boundaries and Codependency

I love watching transformations take place amongst my clients. I love watching individuals who have carried years of trauma and emotional challenge transcend after a session or two together, as their beliefs and behaviours change once and for all. A while back, I worked with a client who had unhealthy ties with his mother. He longed for a romantic relationship, and to travel and explore the world, but his mother wanted him to stay around and be close to her. 

In my client’s family system, there were ongoing conflicts between his parents. His father couldn’t provide emotional support for his mother, so my client had stepped into his father’s shoes, becoming his mother’s first port of emotional contact. My client formed beliefs such as, ‘My mother will leave if I don’t take care of her,’ and he saw her as a victim. When he tried to have his own relationship and create his own finances she made him feel guilty. He couldn’t be...

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Food, How I escaped misery

I’m currently in Mexico with my husband Wayne. We are lucky enough to be able to travel with our work, which means I can do two of the things I love most in the world- exploring new cultures and trying new foods.

We’re in a beachside restaurant eating nachos and quesadillas by the handfuls - full stomachs and happy hearts. Enjoying the balance of guacamole and salsa, the soft music, the warm air.

Nineteen year old me wouldn’t let herself order this. It would have induced an overwhelm of anxiety in her. There are too many calories. I have to exercise right now. Perhaps I can pretend not to eat it. Or throw it up later tonight.

One of the biggest areas of challenge for women in the West is body image; we all know the social pressure to look a certain way, to buy a certain beauty product that keeps us looking younger, thinner etc.

But my relationship with food went far beyond that.

I was stuck in a pattern of addiction caused by abuse in my early life. As children we...

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